Hurry, boy, it's waiting there for you
Hiya, chuckles. Am I glad to see you today.
I’ve been thinking about nuclear war. Wait, wait, come back!
I was just going to say that I was quite scared about nuclear war as a kid in the 80s. As a fear, it was up there with sinking into quicksand (thanks, Enid Blyton) or catching leprosy (thanks, Catholic education). To say it feels ‘weird’ to be thinking about it 30 years later doesn’t really cover it. I certainly didn’t expect that if we were on the brink of something scary, that everyone with eyes and a heart would end up fancying one of the political leaders.
Have you fallen for Zelensky's dance moves? Has the rumour he voiced the Ukrainian Paddington thrilled your loins? I’m not here to judge. Not really.
Just read my newsletter - which has other fellas such as Zach Braff, Gaston and Jesus - and we’ll say no more about it.
Looking to help Ukraine? Here is a working list by the Women’s Equality Party full of resources, organisations, journalists, activists and key individuals to follow, amplify and support.
Let’s dabble…
White lies
We all remember the furore of statues being removed in the wake of George Floyd’s murder - imagine if we were to take down images of Jesus, who for some reason has long been portrayed as a white dude. Read this lengthy but very interesting history of how Jesus came to be male and pale (and, I imagine, pretty stale after a few days in a tomb). Fetch the lasso!
Out of Africa
I absolutely LOVE the song ‘Africa’, by Toto, but it is pretty cringe. The line “Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti” is famously snorted at for its 300 km-out geographical fail. However, I was today years old when I discovered that it’s supposed to be about someone who has no idea about the continent.
Books of revelation
Every wondered if there was a book that first inspired authors to write? This Nylon piece shows 25 writers who were inspired by everything from to Sweet Valley High to John Updike’s Rabbit Run, so it definitely shows the broad-ranging power of literature. But since Updike’s writing has featured in the aforementioned Bad Sex Awards, that one’s more likely to inspire you to buy a chastity belt.
(My) cold shoulder
When I’m at work (actually in the office), I’ve noticed a really cold, sharp wind blowing through the gap in the window, gradually turning my left side numb. Little did I know that I have fallen victim to - GASP! - the kamaitachi, or ‘wind weasel’…
Keep your eye on the wise
I’m going to hit you up with some serious philosophical shit here. Well, Marcus Aurelius is. He advised that when someone lets you down, instead of tormenting ourselves about it, we should manage our expectations:
“Whenever a person’s lack of shame offends you, you should immediately ask yourself, “So is it possible for there to be no shameless people in the world?” It isn’t, and you should therefore stop demanding the impossible.”
I think that’s a swanky way of saying, “They’re not worth it, Dave.”
And finally…
Sometimes you just need this kind of shizzle, right?