Not really a Valentine’s email
Hi darling,
I’m currently in the Lake District, so I want you to pretend this is a postcard. Imagine you came downstairs this morning to see it poking tantalisingly through your letterbox, and then turned it over to find some quirky little stories jotted down just for you. “What a treasure that Joanna is!” you think, and make a note to leave me something nice in your will.
Here’s a visual to help you:
It’s pure coincidence that I’ve come away so close to Valentine's Day (though of course there’s nothing like the smell of fresh manure to get you feeling amorous). I’m actually just extremely tired and need a rest. My poor face looks like a used tea bag. Being in the countryside brings out my child-like, adventurous side - think Anne from Famous Five (with a Suzi Quattro haircut). Every scene is a potential setting for a jolly good mystery.
Still, I’m taking time out, from time out, to write to you. It’s almost V-Day, after all, and I need to share the love. But you’ll find no sappy stuff here. This week’s issue has brutal honesty, buddy love, and bad sex. What the romance holiday is all about.
Let’s dabble!
Why do fools fall in love?
According to this piece by Brain Pickings, to fall in love, we need to believe a fiction that the other person can fill something missing in our internal lives. Not a popular concept over at Hallmark, I don’t think. If you want to get super duper literary about it, they also link to Stendhal’s views on the seven stages of romance and Susan Sontag’s writing on the messiness of love. Otherwise, here’s a true piece of wisdom from Mindy Kaling:
Friend zone?
I am so behind this idea, that love goes beyond a basic platonic/romantic dichotomy (no, I’m not so tired I can’t still use words like dichotomy). This article describes the loving and erotic, but not sexual relationship between Iris Murdoch and her closest friend Philippa Foot, while this piece from Refinery 29 suggests injecting more romance into your friendships. In short, look to your friends this Feb - give em an unexpected gift, take them out for a candlelit supper, or simply tell them what a nice arse they have. (The latter counts as romance in Lancashire.)
Bad romance
You may have already heard of the Bad S** Awards - and if you haven’t, I recommend having a stiff one (ifyouknowwhatImean) before reading any of these excerpts. which include everything from a ‘careful prodding of perineums’ to Morrissey’s infamous “bulbous salutation”. I’ll let you decide for yourself if “she made a noise like a tortured Moomintroll” counts as ‘so bad it’s good’, or so bad you want to throw yourself repeatedly out of a first floor window.