Stay away from that storm drain!
Hi, hi, Pumpkin Pie!
I’m going full-on Halloween this week. What?? It’s not like I’m asking you for candy (though if you want to buy me a Kofi I won’t say no) or dressing up like Jeffrey Dahmer. Yes, I accept that the latter is a very low bar.
Anyway, enjoy all the spiders and clowns and ghoulish stories this week’s newsletter has to offer – just promise me you’ll stay away from that storm drain…
Let’s dabble!
Why are we scared of spiders?
I’m just going to say it: I think spiders are disgusting. There. And no, before you arachnid-fanciers give me all that “oh they kill all the flies” nonsense, I’m not interested. They move like something that’s about to steal your soul, slowly, through your earhole. Plus it’s not just me: apparently 4% of humans are scared of them - but why, when so few are genuinely dangerous? Current theories include the amygdala kicking in before our prefrontal cortex has had time to catch up, race memory, or cultural conditioning that spans centuries. I’ll admit that I wasn’t THAT scared til I watched Arachnophobia…
What’s the best witch film?
If you fancy a change from all the usual gore-fests this Halloween, Vulture have got a great list of witch movies here. It includes everything from Studio Ghibli fave, Kiki’s Delivery Service to The Witches of Eastwick, though personally I’m tempted to watch Bell, Book and Candle, for Jack Lemmon’s “bongo-playing warlock”. Sold.
How do other cultures honour their dead?
What’s Halloween without a bit of creepy death shit?! I find death rituals fascinating - and if you do too, you’ll love this piece that includes finger amputations, blindfolded corpses and – because I hate to disappoint - a nice bit of endocannibalism.
How do you shop in scary bookstores?
BEWARE OF BOOKS WITH CURSES, ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE. That’s what all antiquarian bookshops have above the door, right? No? Well maybe they should – we’ve all seen Ninth Gate, right? For those people who are intimidated by said shops, this article gives tips for navigating them without touching poisoned pages or buying books with notorious curses. In the 90s I worked at an antique bookshop in London, where my only job was to pour champagne and hand out strawberries, so I’m zero help.
When did clowns get so horrifying?
Turns out people were shit-scared of clowns long before Bill Skarsgård’s Pennywise inspired a wave of disembodied-arm-related sexual fantasies (I know, I know). This meaty (sorry) piece goes right back to 2500 BC to figure out how clowns went from being figures of fun to phobia material. Clue: John Wayne Gacy didn’t help.
Word of the week
Tandsmor [Danish]: “Butter spread so thick that you leave teeth marks in it when you take a bite.”
I mean, what is bread but a vehicle for butter? Denise – you’re a star for sharing this.
[Got any great definitions to share? Hit reply!]
The question on everyone’s lips:
Why do some people enjoy being scared?
And finally…
See you next Friday!