When a cigar is just a cigar
Hiya sausage,
Do you like your hands?
Or like me, do you secretly worry they look like a pair of boiled hams? Over the last few months I’ve had my nails done in increasingly kooky designs, and I’ve realised it’s partly because I want to detract attention from the fingers they’re attached to. According to this article, (and, incidentally, one of my fave jewellery designers), people are apologising for the state of their hands left, right and centre.
Well enough. Whether you have the slender fingers of a virtuoso pianist, or the calloused shovels of a 19th-century canal digger, they deserve some love. They work hard after all. So have a quick gander at All Nails Welcome, slap on some nice hand cream, and appreciate those little meat paddles of yours. Then get scrolling.
P.S. If you fancy worrying about something a little more significant, here are some ways to help Ukraine.
Let’s dabble!
A prehistoric mons-ument
Does Stonehenge symbolise a vulva? There, I bet that woke you up from your late-afternoon slump. One of many theories on the purpose of Stonehenge - including it being a place of healing or a spaceship landing pad - this suggestion came from gynaecologist Anthony M Perks in 2003. Yes, a gynaecologist. If Sigmund Freud were still alive, I think he’d tell Tony that sometimes a giant mystical stone circle is just a giant mystical stone circle.
Tooth stranger than fiction
There are some quite strange phrases in my article picks this week, but “little living archives” might be the creepiest. Scientists are discovering that teeth can reveal the story of our lives, from leaving the womb, to encountering pesticides, to undergoing trauma. (Word to the wise: don’t look up “teeth gifs”. That’s trauma enough.)
Words for nerds
If phrases like “outrageously irregular verb” set you alight, this article about obsolete words and idioms is for you. For example, did you know that ‘just deserts’ doesn’t refer to a special kind of pudding? Bet you're glad I’m here.
The Old Curiosity Op
As if writing 997-page novels and being mean to his wife wasn’t enough to keep him busy, Charles Dickens also found time to teach himself an obscure form of shorthand. Read about how cracking his code has proven a bit of a challenge for sixteen keen scholars.
(Speaking of, have you ever heard the Divine Comedy song Our Mutual Friend? Get on it - it’s glorious.)
Getting the AraHORN
Is ‘Lord of the Rings’ ‘Star Wars’ for millennial women? This piece explores why the Peter Jackson trilogy has such a special place in the hearts of women in their 20s and 30s. It could be because of the interesting female characters, of course, or because it doesn’t ‘hew to traditional masculine ideals’. It was Aragorn fastening his belt with strong battle-muddy hands that did it for me.
And finally…
Geddit??